My Captor

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Hello, this is a story about how I stole love.

I know it sounds funny but come to think of it, cant love be stolen? Just like how every other physical thing can be stolen, I still feel abstracts too can be stolen.

24th June, 2011, lol don’t mind me, I’m never that good with dates, but I’m pretty sure it was one of those Friday nights the boy’s and I go out to the bar just to get drunk and dance with a complete stranger, get boners that won’t be satisfied.

Oh but this night was different, Ifeanyi had a girl, and I didn’t. Anyway, we ordered for a cold bottle of beer and sipped. That’s when I saw her, she was so elegant, hot fitting pants that outlined her sexy curved legs. She moved her hips like it was nothing. The whole bar went quiet as I watched her mesmerize me. I felt drawn to her. I was in a spell. A spell I wish would never break that night, and as I looked, my legs moved, to be frank I had no control of them; they carried me across the floor where the witch that cast this spell was.

When I reached my captor, I placed one hand around her waist and moved to the beat, letting her lead. It was pure pleasure. Then it happened, she turned around and placed that bum on my groin and started to work her magic. She swayed and blackhammer responded. I was in distress but I needed no saving. I was ready to be a prisoner. ‘Odokra please let me cut in!’ His voice came from behind me. As a gentleman that I was, I left. Allowed him dance with my captor while I sat back and watched them.

The night was almost over when my friend took her by her hands and screamed to the guys that it was time for us to go home. I was dazed. “could my captor have another captive”? I kept asking myself. I doubted till we got to the lodge and I watched her walk into his room and he shut the gate and gave me a wink. That wink broke my heart. He was going to be sliding into her that night. I stayed up most of the night fantasizing about who I just met.

I know this doesn’t say much about the girl I just met. But if you hang on a little bit more, I’m pretty sure you’d get to know how awesome she was I was willing to risk everything to be her only captor.


Twitter is like…

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great stuff


Twitter analogy

I was out for coffee the other day with a non-tweeting friend. “So what’s Twitter actually like?” she asked.

I ummed and ahhed, and explained it all very badly, mumbling some fairly dry stuff about retweets and hashtags and follows. She didn’t look convinced. So I’ve been thinking about it ever since, and here’s what I’ve come up with.

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Not A Silent Night

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I didn’t plan to pass the night at Niyi’s even though on two occasions, I’d watched movies all through the night in his cosy living room, while he filled his bed room with snores… This beautiful night wasn’t going to be different at all, I told myself.
I washed d food flask with which I brought the efo and fufu I prepared. I thought he’d come to my place as usual, but he pleaded with me to bring the food instead, since he was glued 2 his chair,in front of his television and his eyes popped out as though they would drop any moment, just because of some football match. Whilst doing the dishes, I remembered how I met this cute medical doctor 3 weeks ago,on my way home, after a hectic day at the NYSC secretariat. We were getting really close and it felt like I’d known him all my life, but we weren’t dating yet…I was so comfortable with him and he treated me like his sister.
I heard something that sounded like “Jane” so I turned around and there he was, wearing nothing but a smile; I mean he was totally naked!!
I was speechless! The only sound I could hear was my heart beat, I asked him if he was looking for his clothes or something, I didn’t want 2 make it obvious that I was scared at first, then he pulled my hand, with that very annoying smirk, still on his face and I rubbed my soapy hand in his eyes” What kind of joke is this?”, I screamed! I ran to the Palor and he wiped his eyes and followed me, like a hungry lion chasing after an antelope.
The fact that I was being stubborn made him mad and I knew there and then that he was going 2 rape me. I screamed, cried, prayed to God, pleaded with him but it was a total waste of time. Niyi was determined…his mind was made up. Then suddenly, I felt his rough hands around my long neck, he was choking me, with so much energy like I’ve never seen before, and all I could hear him say was “Jane you’re still alive abi?, you don’t want to die shey?”… This was worse than a nightmare, I started screaming out my name, place of primary assignment, state of origin, address, phone number and anything I could remember, just incase the neighbours were listening, so that they’d have a clue of who I was, when I’m dead . I had a feeling they were all awake, but too scared to help me. Then he put his hand into my mouth and I was throwing up blood.
I kicked him with the last strength I had and reached for my phone, couldn’t remember my password and in the midst of the pain and confusion, brother Andrew called me to ask why I wasn’t in church yet for the vigil. I quickly narrated what was happening to me, gave him the description of the house and thank God he was just a stone throw from where I was, and the devil’s place was easy to locate.
Niyi got arrested, and I was rushed to the hospital… I knew God had given me a second chance, but what if I didn’t make it? This is the question my dear friend asked us, as she told us how she almost got raped and killed. *sigh*
“U put sugar for person mouth, u say make e no lick am”


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CASTRO, my first Dog. Dad just came back from work with her in his arms. She was adorable and had real puppy eyes; she was loved by all.

I never new this canine would be my worst nightmare. She always chased me aroun the house like I was her breakfast, lunch and dinner. I was always on my toes because that bitch was sneaky. I hated her so much I would think up plans of killing her.

Anyway, this day came in the neighborhood, I was little and skinny, so I was being bullied by this bigger kid, I Got slapped around and was about letting out a river flow from my eyes when I saw her. She raced down towards me. OMG castro not today! I tried alerting Big Ben but he was busy having the fun of his life with my face.

Catro leaped, I closed my eyes, this was it, I was going to be mauled by the monster dad brought home, I thought of heaveb for a bit, I died, I’ll finally be free from Big Ben.

I was shocked, Big Ben was screaming his ass off! Could this be real? Big ben on the floor with castro taking a bite off his ass! This had to be a mistake, it was suppose to be my ass castro! I called on her and she left Big Ben at once and stood beside me, I felt so cool, at last I had a savior.

Dogs are really cool, they are man’s best friend and they’ve proven their loyalty over and over again.

If you’ve got an alsatian, a rot-weiler, a mastiff, bulldog, chihuahua or just your plain everyday local dog, feed her well, treat and love her good, she just might save you one day.

Castro got hit by a bus when I was 12. She was my friend, my savior.